What You Used to Do

It seems like there’s something that happens to all of us once we settle into the routine of being married. That is, we forget to do the things we did before. You know, those fun things, the romantic things, even the crazy things we did when we were dating.

Part of falling in love is about the person you fall in love with; another part is about the interests you share; but another part is about the things you do together. Those fun and crazy things you did when you were dating had an important part in bonding you together, and bringing you to the altar on your wedding day.

One of the most common pieces of advice that we give to couples whom we are helping through marriage problems is to go back to doing the things that made them fall in love the first time. You see, before the wedding, our lives together are about fun, exploring, learning about the other person, and sharing our dreams. After the wedding, or at least after the honeymoon, that changes to sharing chores, worries about money, and all the other things that are involved in just living.

Day 46 – Your mission, should you decide to accept it is in two parts: The first is to make a pot of coffee, and sit down with your wife to take a trip down memory lane; talking about the things you did when you were dating. Don’t let her know, but take mental notes on this trip. Each and every thing that she talks about is an opportunity for a romantic date with your wife.

Part two of today’s mission is to pick one thing out of your trip down memory lane, that you can do today, and do it! Not something that takes you two weeks of planning, but something that you can do as a spur-of-the-moment activity. Maybe there was a favorite ice cream parlor that you used to go to, or a favorite place to go for walks at sunset, or even something as silly as going to a furniture store and looking at the furniture that you’d like to have “some day.” The actual activity isn’t as important as the memories that it brings, and the feelings that it can stir up.