I’d like to take a moment to tie together some things I’ve said in a couple of recent postings; two separate but interrelated points, that we need to make sure we deal with properly. The first point was about how women all want to be beautiful. I mentioned that in the post on “If it’s important to her.” The second point was from last month, in the post on “Overcoming her negativity.”
Let me ask you a question, back when you fell in love with your wife, how important was it to you that your wife was beautiful to you? According to Willard Harley’s book, “His Needs, Her Needs” her being attractive is the third biggest need that you, as a man, have in your marriage. So, don’t try and tell me that you married her just because she was charming and witty, or because she had such a marvelous brain, a strong part of the reason that you married her was because you thought she was hot.
Hopefully, the years haven’t diminished that opinion. If they have, you might want to look for the reason why your opinion has changed. Don’t try and blame it all on her, either. If you spend a lot of time looking at other women, especially younger thinner women, you’re probably going to have trouble maintaining the thought that your wife is beautiful. This problem can only get worse if you’re looking at pornography.
My wife and I have been married for 25 years now, and I still think she’s beautiful. She can still turn me on just as much now as she could when we were younger. Oh, I recognize that her body isn’t the same as it was back then, nor is her hair color exactly the same, and she might have a wrinkle or two, although I really don’t notice them. But, you know what? I’m not that lean young guy that she married either. My hair can’t seem to make up its mind whether it’s black or grey, and my spare tire seems to have grown its own spare.
Just because my wife isn’t as young as she once was, doesn’t make her any less beautiful to me. It would if I was preoccupied with other women, but I make a point of not doing that. Fortunately for me, I don’t have to spend a lot of time around young, slim women.
It’s not enough for me to think that my wife is beautiful; I have to constantly make sure that she knows that I think she’s beautiful. That’s the point I want to make here. She needs you to build her self-esteem up, by telling her how beautiful she is. If there’s some part that you don’t particularly find attractive, overlook it and concentrate on the parts that you think are attractive.
Have you ever read the Song of Solomon in the Bible? There are whole sections, like chapter 4, where he’s telling her how beautiful he thinks she is. He describes various parts of her body, comparing them to other things which are considered to be beautiful.
Does your wife have beautiful breasts? Tell her so. Does her hair stand out as being especially wonderful to you? Make sure she knows that. What about her eyes, do you still feel like you’re going to fall in, when you look her in the eyes? Well, go ahead and fall in, just tell her about the experience. Do her lips draw you close, begging to be kissed? Make sure you explain how you can’t resist kissing her; then follow it up with a long, passionate kiss.
Your wife needs to know that you think she’s beautiful. You really can’t tell her that enough times, let alone too many times. She doesn’t think that she is. She looks around at other women and compares herself to them constantly. Unfortunately, in her eyes, she always comes up short.
When was the last time that you told her she was was beautiful? Has it been more than 15 minutes? If it has, that’s too long; it’s time to tell her again. I’ll guarantee you, she won’t get tired of hearing it.
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