Focus on the Good

Supposedly, we all got married because of loving the other person. Back then, if someone had asked us about them, we would have been able to give a long list of wonderful character traits about our mate. However, all too often, somewhere along the way, we stop focusing on the good, and start focusing on the bad. After a number of years of marriage, many people talk much, much more about their spouse’s bad traits, than they do about the good ones.

Okay, none of us are perfect; so it is easy to find those faults that we see in the other person. But, anyone who focuses on the negative in someone is going to develop a negative attitude about them. Instead of keeping the flame alive in their marriage, they’re throwing a bucket of water on the smoldering embers.

Remember that wonderful girl you married? Guess what; she’s still there. Maybe she’s got a few more years under on her, but that same wonderful person is still inside. Take a good look, I’ll bet you can still find her.

Day 9 – Today’s romantic act is going to require a little thinking. Ready? Got your thinking cap on? Okay, here it is. Think of 3 wonderful things that are special about your wife (if you can come up with more, that’s a bonus). Then, sit down and write her a love letter, telling her those three things. Now, don’t freak out on me here; you can write a love letter. Here, I’ll help; I’ll give you an outline:

1.      Tell her “I love you. I think you are special.”

2.      Tell her the first thing you think is special about her. You don’t have to get long winded, just blurt it out.

3.      Tell her the second thing you think is special about her.

4.      Tell her the third thing you think is special about her.

5.      Finish by saying, “Just in case I haven’t said it in the last five minutes, I love you. Thank you for being my wife.”

That’s it; you’ve got your love letter. Oh, a couple more details. Make sure you sign it, just to be sure she knows who it’s from. Also, when you are writing the three things that make her special, really avoid saying anything like, “even though,” or “sometimes;” or for that matter, any words that can be considered negative, or lessen the impact of the compliment you are giving her.

Put your letter in an envelope, with her name on the front, and leave it somewhere where she is sure to find it.