Time for the 2 of You

Of all the people in the world, there is only one that I am called to be one flesh with; that’s my wife. That means that of all the relationships I can have, the most important is the relationship I have with her.

In case I’ve never said it, relationships require time; they require communication; they require common interests; they require shared experiences. Without these elements, it’s really not a relationship in anything but name. One can say that they know Bill Gates, because they met him once in a conference. But, unless they’ve spent time with Bill, talking together, sharing experiences; they don’t have a relationship with him; all they are doing is name dropping.

Marriage definitely isn’t the place for name dropping; it’s the place for relationship; not only relationship, but intimate relationship; one in which the partners know the depths of each others souls.

Day 41 – Okay, if you remember, on Wednesday I gave you the assignment to plan an outing to someplace that you and your wife have wanted to go. Well, today is the day; drop the kids off with the sitter, grab your wife, and head off to have a good time spending time together.

Take your time with this; don’t be in a hurry to get there and get back. Stop to eat, or stop for an ice cream, or whatever it is you two like. Remember, you’re making time to be together; that’s what it’s about. Every moment you spend together today is an investment in your marriage; and those types of investments always pay dividends.

Black Friday

Thanksgiving is over, we’ve all gotten stuffed, and now we enter the mad race to get ready for Christmas. More than anything, today is a celebration of the materialism and greed that our Christmas celebration has become. Millions of shoppers will stand in lines and literally fight with each other to get the last discounted whatever-it-is for Johnny or Suzie.

If you are like most guys, you steer well clear of anything that looks like a shopping mall or discount store. That is, unless your favorite electronics store has a spectacular deal on some gadget you’ve been wanting, then we’re out there fighting and pushing with the best of them.

I feel sorry for women on these days. My wife has never been much for Black Friday shopping, but a lot of women are out there, struggling to breath in that swarming mass of humanity; even more, struggling to get that great deal.

Day 40 – Today, whenever your wife emerges from that writhing monster called the mall, she’s going to be exhausted, frustrated, maybe a little elated, but definitely ready to collapse. When she walks in the door, it would be a great time to greet her like you want to be greeted; with a warm smile, a hug and a kiss, and some help to carry the bounty in from the car.

Oh, one more thing; a warm meal waiting for her. I don’t mean warming up yesterday’s leftovers in the microwave, either. She probably doesn’t want to see a turkey today. However, there are lots of great things one can do with that leftover turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. Get online and find one of the myriad of recipes that creative cooks have come up with for leftover Thanksgiving turkey.

One other detail. The worst thing you can do is greet her at the door with the question, “Well, how much did you spend this time?” There’s a good chance she doesn’t even know. Just take comfort in knowing that whatever she spent, it was less than she would have had to spend any other day of the year. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, we’ve made it to Thanksgiving. For most guys, it’s a great day of football and food. But, hey guys, what about our wives? What are they doing, while we’re playing armchair quarterback? You got it, they’re out their in the kitchen all day, working their little fannys off, making sure that the family has a great feast to enjoy.

You know, cooking is one of those great activities, where we can enjoy working together. I’ve never understood why most men think it’s “unmanly” to cook; that’s crazy. Most of the cooks in most of the restaurants, around the world are men. Yet, we can’t cook at home? I don’t get it. Let me get back on track here; like I already said, cooking is a great togetherness activity. Even if the recipe that you are working on doesn’t require two people to do, you can work on two different things; together.

I enjoy cooking; so does my wife. So, when we have the opportunity, we do it together. Granted, Tuesday night dinner doesn’t need two cooks; but a Thanksgiving feast, or having a dinner party with some friends; that’s when it’s time to cook together.

Day 39 – You’ve probably already guessed where I’m going with this one, right? You got it, pry yourself out of the armchair, go in the kitchen, and give your wife a hand with the Thanksgiving banquet. Not only will this give you some great time together, but she’ll be able to enjoy the holiday as well. That’s a real gift to her!

What’s that, you say? You don’t know how to cook? No problem! I’m sure you know how to use a knife to chop stuff. Ask her what needs chopping. I’m also sure you know how to wash the dishes (even if you don’t like to); offer to do that for her. You could even ask her to teach you how to cook. That would probably give the two of you some opportunities for some great laughs.

Cooking is actually fun. Once you get over the macho idea that you can’t do it, you might find that you enjoy doing it. Besides, you get to eat what you create. Experiment a little, let your wild side out in the kitchen, that’s how most great recipes come about, by someone letting loose in the kitchen and trying something new.

Not only will you find that cooking together is a fun activity, it will give you something new and creative to talk about. Adapting recipes and finding combinations that go together is very creative. That’s important to our communication as a couple; because it comes from the right side of the brain. Since women think more on the right side of the brain, and men more on the left side, this is one way where we can actually learn to think on the same side. That always helps communication. 

Take Advantage of the Long Weekend

Rumor has it that the big Thanksgiving weekend is right around the corner; lots of free time, football games on the tube, and plenty to eat. Sounds like an ideal weekend, right?

Hold on, wait a minute, where’s our priority here? Is it to take the extra time just for us, or would it be better to invest some of this time in our marriage? After all, you’ve got four whole days off, I would think that you could easily find enough time to have a great time with your wife, and maybe still catch the ball game.

Day 38 – Is there someplace special the two of you have wanted to go check out, but have never seemed to find the time? Or, how about someplace you used to go when you dated, and you’ve always talked about going back, but never did? Or, maybe even someplace she’s wanted to go, and you’ve always drug your feet on it. Well, this is the time. Why not take Saturday as your day with your wife. Make your plans, find someone to watch the kids (or arrange for them to be with friends, if they’re old enough for that), make sure you don’t need reservations, and keep it secret from her.

Actually, this Saturday might be a great day to go someplace special like that. Most of the people will be crowding the malls, getting a start on their Christmas shopping. So, you can go someplace fun, without all the crowds. As an added benefit, you’ll probably get great service.

I’m starting you early on this, because it might take a little bit of planning on your part. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps us from doing something we want to do is that we never plan for it. Well, plan now. That way, on Saturday, you can have a great time.

If the place is too far to go in one day, leave on Friday, after she hits the Black Friday sales, and come back on Saturday, that gives you an even better romantic interlude. You can combine wherever you go with a romantic dinner, a romantic breakfast, and a romantic night in a hotel.

A Gift Waiting for Her

Most couples are so busy that they have to coordinate their schedules, especially the parts about taking the kids to their activities and picking up things at the store. It’s not all that unusual to have to ask your wife to stop by the dry cleaners to pick up your pants, or to go to some shop to pick something up. Well, let’s take advantage of that.

Day 37 - This one will take a touch of planning, but it’s worth it. Buy some small, romantic gift for your wife, and wrap it up for her. Make sure her name is on it. Before asking your wife to go by the dry cleaners, go there yourself, and explain to the clerk what it is you want to do (this works especially well if they have a female clerk). Have them put the gift with your dry cleaning, so that it doesn’t get forgotten. Then, when your wife picks up your cleaning, she gets her gift too.

If you really want to make it special, go with two or three gifts in two or three different stores. Obviously, it works best to do this in small stores, where you can be sure that your wife won’t get lost in the crowds. Sales clerks, especially female ones, love to be in on the secret. At each stop, you wife will receive another gift.

I know a couple of men who did something similar to this for Valentines Day a couple of years ago. They left their wives a note, telling them to stop at such-and-such a store, where the first gift was waiting, along with a note telling them where the second stop was. In this case, they used all women’s stores for the stops; buying the presents in those stores. The sales clerks were so excited by it, that they were adding freebies to the gift bags.

The second year that they did this, their wives had a team of reporters, photographers, and video cameras following them around. The “gift tour” ended up on the news and in the paper.

Announce Your Love to the World

I remember a famous line (although I don’t remember where it comes from) that goes, “I will shout my love for you from the rooftops.” Even though it sounds a little dangerous, it still sounds like a great idea. It’s one thing to tell your wife that you love her, it’s another to make sure everyone else knows it too. Any declaration becomes stronger when we make it public; and that would make it very public indeed.

Day 36 – Okay, let’s get a little bit more realistic, than shouting from the rooftops. There has to be some way that we can publicly broadcast our love, doesn’t there? Yes, there is.

Most AM radio stations have sometime during the day that they do public announcements of birthdays, anniversaries and other similar thing. Even if they don’t typically do “I love you” messages, I bet they’d do it if you asked. Just make sure you are doing it at a time and on a station that your wife is listening to. As an alternative, get them to play her a love song from you.

It might help to have a co-conspirator make sure that the right radio station is on at the right time. Otherwise, she might miss the message. 

Announce Your Love to the World

I remember a famous line (although I don’t remember where it comes from) that goes, “I will shout my love for you from the rooftops.” Even though it sounds a little dangerous, it still sounds like a great idea. It’s one thing to tell your wife that you love her, it’s another to make sure everyone else knows it too. Any declaration becomes stronger when we make it public; and that would make it very public indeed.

Day 36 – Okay, let’s get a little bit more realistic, than shouting from the rooftops. There has to be some way that we can publicly broadcast our love, doesn’t there? Yes, there is.

Most AM radio stations have sometime during the day that they do public announcements of birthdays, anniversaries and other similar thing. Even if they don’t typically do “I love you” messages, I bet they’d do it if you asked. Just make sure you are doing it at a time and on a station that your wife is listening to. As an alternative, get them to play her a love song from you.

It might help to have a co-conspirator make sure that the right radio station is on at the right time. Otherwise, she might miss the message.