Facebook Your Love for Her

One of the great things about technology is that it gives us just that many more ways of expressing our love to our wives. Now, I realize that most men don’t use it that way, but that doesn’t mean that the wise amongst us (in other words those who want to be romantic) can’t use it that way. Unfortunately, many women see their husband’s interest in the computer and the Internet as competition; almost as if it were a mistress. Well, we’re just ahead of the rest of them.

We’ve already sent e-cards to our wives through the web, we’ve bought gifts for them on the web, and we’ve e-mailed them our love. So, what’s left? How about announcing our love of our wives to the whole world? Or, at least let’s announce it to as much of the world as we can reach.

Do you facebook? Recently, I heard that the “population” of facebook had hit 500,000,000 people. That’s more people than the United States, Canada and Mexico put together, with a little room left over for several Central American countries.

You know, I’ve seen all kinds of things posted on facebook; much of it has been funny, some has been disgusting, a few things have been really interesting, and then there are the things that have just been weird. But, you know, I’ve never seen anyone post a “status” saying that they loved their wife. I wonder why. Are we embarrassed to tell our friends that we love our wives, or are we just not thinking about it?

Your mission today is to cause an earthquake on facebook. How are you going to do it? Simple, by posting your love for your wife on your wall. Let everyone know that you love your wife, and then challenge them to do the same. Let’s see how many people we can get to post their love; who knows, maybe we can start a new facebook fad.

“Posting” Reminders of Your Love

There are many ways of saying “I Love You” some verbal and others not. Through this blog, I’ve shared many different ways of sharing your love for your wife; some which are just for the moment and others that create a lasting reminder; even some that have required creating new habits or ways of expression.

Well, today we’re going to do one of those lasting reminders. Actually, the idea is to leave a reminder of your love in all the common places that your wife goes, so that she’ll see it all the time.

All you need to do this one is a computer, a printer and a little time. Do you see that heart up there? Well, the idea is to plaster that heart where your wife will see it regularly. So, right click on the heart, and save it to your computer. Then go into whatever program you have that allows you to print graphics. If you have a publishing program, like Microsoft Publisher, that would be best; you can even use a word processing program, like Microsoft Word if you don’t have anything better to use.

Paste the heart onto a page as many times as it will fit. If you want to, you can make the heart a little smaller to get it to fit; but don’t make it too small; you want her to be able to read the words. Print as many pages as you think you can use, and cut out the hearts.

Now that you’re armed with a collection of hearts, grab some tape and go around the house, sticking them in places where your wife will see. You want them in places where they’ll look natural, not the middle of some wall. You also want them in places where they can stay, without being in the way of other things. In other words, if you’re going to put it on her vanity mirror, do it in the corner, not in the middle. Here’s some ideas of where to put them:

• On her vanity mirror
• On the bathroom mirror
• On the window above the kitchen sink
• On the refrigerator door
• On the door to her clothes closet
• On her jewelry box
• On the frame of her computer monitor (if she has her own computer)
• On the frame of the television set (if you have a television in your bedroom)
• On the coat closet door
• If you can, or if you can find a conspirator to help you, on her desk at work
• On the washing machine control panel
• On the dashboard of her car
• While you’re at it, if she’s got a book or magazine she’s reading, you may as well put one on the cover

The more good places you can find to put your little heart messages, the better. You want her to be able to see that constant reminder of your love. Granted, after a while, they’ll become part of the scenery and not seem so obvious to her. When that happens, do the same thing with a picture of a rose, sticking it so that it partially overlaps the heart, but not the words. That’ll make your romantic act a double whammy.

Remember When…

Memories can be extremely romantic, especially memories about your time dating together, your wedding or special times you’ve had together. Now, I realize that as guys, we’re not all that big on sitting around thinking about yesteryear; we’re all about what’s going on today and planning for tomorrow. But, that doesn’t mean that memories about yesterday aren’t worthwhile; especially if they can bring romantic feelings to life in the two of you.

Everybody has somewhere in the house that they keep special stuff from their past. Photo albums, old high-school yearbooks, the stuffed animal you won at the fair, the kids stroller, some piece of something you bought at a tourist trap while on vacation. All of these things have memories connected to them, that’s why we save them.

It seems like the attic is the “classic” place to store those things; but maybe you’ve got another place to store them. Wherever it is, I’m sure you’ve got one. So, let’s take a little trip down memory lane and remember when…

You’ve got two hands, so you need to use both of them. In one hand, grab something for the two of you to drink. Even better, grab the drink and some sort of snack; cheese cubes on toothpicks comes to mind, and you don’t have to be a master chef to make it. In the other hand grab your wife’s hand. Don’t tell her where you’re going, just lead her to that place where you store all those old dusty memories.

Once you get there, tell her you’re going on a trip down memory lane. Wipe the dust off a few things, dig them out of boxes, and talk about the memories that those things invoke in you. Have fun, be silly. Put on that old cowboy hat and pretend you’re a cowboy. Grab the ukulele with the broken string and sing a song.

Take some time together, enjoy your drink, and eat your snack while you remember yesteryear. Maybe you can replay something from your courtship and end it as you did back then… with a kiss.

Secret Signs for Secret Love

At the end of yesterday’s post I suggested using one of the ways of saying “I love you” in another language as your secret code for telling your wife that you love her in public. Today, I want to share what one of my readers responded to that.

This reader, who is a woman, told me that her she and her husband have a secret gesture that they use for saying “I love you.” The advantage of this over my secret words is that as long as you can see each other, you can do it; you don’t have to be able to talk to each other. In fact, she gave me two examples of her husband using their secret sign to tell her that he loves her, in places that you wouldn’t expect.

It seems that this man is a lawyer. Once when they were in court, and he was cross-examining a witness, he made their secret sign to his wife. Hmmm, it looks to me like he was thinking of his wife more than he was the witness. I guess that blows away the guys who try and say that they can’t stop what they’re doing to express their love to their wife.

Other times, he has made the secret sign to his wife while singing in the church choir. Don’t worry, the Bible tells us that God is love; so I’m sure he wasn’t offended by this.

So, all you’ve got to do is come up with your own secret sign. Make it something that you can do, without people thinking you’ve lost all your marbles (maybe just lost a few); something that’s unusual enough that your wife will realize you’ve done it intentionally, but simple enough that it doesn’t attract attention from others. C’mon, put that imagination to work, you can come up with something.

Say “I Love You” in a Different Way

Laughter can be a great part of romance. Not laughter from some stupid joke, although there’s nothing wrong with a joke, it’s just not romantic. No, the type of laughter I’m talking about is the laughter that comes from spontaneous acts, or being silly, or something funny happening in your life. The point is that it has to be something you’ve shared together.

Let’s put a little silliness into our daily act of saying those three important words, “I love you.” “How’s that?” you might ask. Simple, we’ll just do it in a way that makes her question what we’re saying, by saying it in another language.

Now, this is going to take a little rehearsing to get right. Here’s a list of how to say “I love you” in several different languages. Print it out and take a little time practicing how to say it. Now, I realize you’re not a linguist, and probably have no idea how to pronounce those languages, and I really don’t have a way of helping you with that. On the other hand, your wife probably doesn’t have any idea how to pronounce those languages either, so she shouldn’t pick up on your errors. Then again, if she does realize you’re butchering the language, that’ll add to the silliness.

Here’s the list:

·         Je t'aime (French)

·         Te amo (Spanish)

·         Σ 'αγαπώ (it’s Greek to me… oh, forget that one, I can’t read Greek)

·         Ma armastan sind (Estonian)

·         Szeretlek (Hungarian)

·         Es tevi mīlu (Latvian)

·         Jeg elsker deg (Norwegian)

·         Mahal kita (Tagalog)

Okay, that should be enough. Although it would be more effective if you memorized the list, it might be a little rough. So, to make things a little bit easier, just print the list out and take it with you.

Here’s what you do. Walk up to your wife, and tell her you love her in one of those languages. When she responds with something really brilliant, like “huh?” tell her the same thing in another language. Keep going like this until you run out of languages, or break down laughing, whichever comes first.

Hey, maybe you can pick one of those to be your secret code phrase to be able to say “I love you” in public, without anyone knowing what you’re talking about. That’ll make it a special way to say “I love you.”

Whatever Happened to Holding Hands?

Have you ever been walking through the mall or on vacation somewhere or maybe even just walking through town and seen an elderly couple walking down the way, holding hands? We all look at that, think to ourselves, “Isn’t that precious?” and go on our way. You know, it’s really not all that common a thing to see, which is probably why we all notice it.

How is it that these couples are still holding hands after 30, 40 or even 50 years of marriage? More importantly, why aren’t the rest of us doing it too? What have they got going for them that the rest of us don’t?

Really, more than anything, holding hands while you are walking is just forming the habit of doing it. Like so many other expressions of love and tenderness, we gradually take them for granted. Maybe it was the necessity of keeping track of the kids, or pushing the stroller, or just plain the business of life that started us downhill; but somewhere along the line, holding hands just became too difficult.

Too difficult? Now c’mon, holding hands isn’t all that difficult. What is difficult is making the effort to do so, while everything else is trying to keep us apart. You see, holding hands, like many other things in life, is just a habit that we need to form.

Learn to walk hand in hand again; if nothing else, it will help you feel closer together; and isn’t that what we’re trying to do?

Important Times for Kisses

I know this is going to sound a little crazy, but kissing, not sex is one of the most intimate acts a couple can undertake. I know, I know, like I told you, it sounds a little crazy. Let me back up that statement with something. Prostitutes, who are accustomed to allowing men to do whatever they want with their bodies, typically won’t kiss those same men. Why? Because kissing is too intimate for them to handle. They can more or less ignore a man who’s using their body, but not one who’s kissing them.

Did you know that the lips are the most sensitive part of the human body? That’s why babies put everything in their mouths. So, kissing stimulates the nerves, and the emotions, even more than sex does. Kissing builds intimacy, while sex utilizes that intimacy.

Another great thing about kissing is that it can be done in public. Nobody’s going to think badly of you if you kiss your wife in public; in fact, they’ll probably think very highly of you for doing so. On the other hand… well, we’ll just avoid going there. Let’s just say that most people don’t want to watch you making out with your wife in their living room.

Okay, so we’ve established that kissing is important, so what? Well, the reason I’m bringing this up is that most couples don’t kiss enough. I’m not talking about kissing when they’re making love, although that is definitely important, I’m talking about kissing throughout the day. It’s those kisses, or maybe I should say, the ongoing habit of kissing, that is one of the important ingredients for building intimacy in your marriage relationship.

While any moment is a great one to kiss, there are a few times in a day, which are very important moments to make sure you form the habit of kissing:

• When you first wake up in the morning. Okay, I know all about morning breath; go brush your teeth, then kiss her.
• When you leave the house. That doesn’t just mean when you leave to go to work, it means every time you walk out the door.
• When you come home. A hug and a kiss when you come home from work are extremely important; not only for your marriage, but to help you switch from “work mode” to “home mode.” Just like the kisses before you leave, don’t just limit yourself to kissing her when you come back from work, I don’t care if you just went to take out the trash, kiss her when you come back in.
• Before you go to sleep at night. Even if you aren’t going to make love, at least one good kiss before going to sleep helps set the tone for the next day.
• Any time you say “thank you.” We’ll just call that one the cherry on the ice cream sundae. Saying “thank you” is important, but saying it with a kiss amplifies it.

Okay, we’ve established when to kiss, now let me say a few words about how to kiss. While I have great confidence in both you and your wife’s ability to pucker up and plant one, I’m not so sure that you do what you need, when you need.

As far as I’m concerned, a peck never qualifies as a kiss. For one thing, it’s too brief to really feel the other person’s lips. For another, you can do it without thinking about the person. We’re talking about intimacy here. You can’t be intimate without thinking about the person you’re being intimate with. To be intimate, a kiss has to linger a bit; at least one second.

So, all of your kisses need to be at least one second in duration. On top of that, I’d have to say that the most important time to kiss is when you come home. So, that kiss should last at least five seconds. No, you don’t need to get your stopwatch out and time yourself. Just make sure you take your time.

By the way, there’s one important time to kiss that I forgot to mention, that’s whenever you think of it. Hey, there’s no such thing as too many kisses.