Daddy Caddy

Through the years I’ve come to the point where I have a deep appreciation that God has never done anything by accident or “just because.” Every action He has ever done has purpose, often more than one; even those things which don’t seem so obvious have purpose.

Believe it or not, the differences between how men and women are, how they think and how they do things even have purpose. While those differences might be a bit frustrating, or even a bit infuriating to us at some times, they still have a reason. Quite often, once we understand the purpose behind the differences, we can see the wisdom in what God has done.

Have you ever wondered why we, as men, are so much stronger than out wives? No, it’s really not so that we can beat them at a wrestling match; and it’s definitely not so that we can abuse them in any way. The real reason why we are so much stronger is so that we can protect our wives from danger; any kind of danger. Our capacity for aggressiveness and violence exists for the same reason, so that we can protect her.

Can you imagine a pregnant woman trying to protect herself from any sort of violent attack? I don’t know about your wife, buy mine had trouble getting around when she was pregnant, let alone doing anything really physical. No, if there’s any woman in the world who needs protection, it’s a pregnant one.

That natural strength we have is for the benefit of our marriage. Not only in protecting our wives, but in doing those tasks which require strength. Years ago, when our kids were little and we were traveling full time, I used to grumble about having to be the “Daddy Caddy.” When we’d get to a hotel, the whole family would go relax in the room or check out the pool, while daddy (me) was carrying all the suitcases; and yes, to be honest with you, I was usually grumbling about it.

But really, who is best suited for carrying the suitcases? My kids were too small to do it, so expecting them to do so would have been ridiculous. Likewise, expecting my wife to do it was ridiculous. She couldn’t hardly lift some of those suitcases, let alone carry them a couple hundred feet.

Okay, so I’ve changed a bit since then; you get older and hopefully get wiser as well. A couple of months ago, I injured my back. For a few weeks I couldn’t hardly stand up, let alone try and carry anything. For that few weeks, I was more or less worthless to myself, let alone anyone else. So, I’d watch as my wife carried in the groceries, feeling guilty all the while. But, I could hardly get out to the car with my cane in the time it took her to make three trips in with the bags.

I felt guilty watching my wife carry those groceries. While I really didn’t have any choice, it bothered me to see her have to do something, because I was physically incapable of doing it. You see, if I’m committed to my marriage, then that means that I commit all my resources to it, no matter what they are or when it is. All of me has to be given over to our marriage, or I’m just playing games; and as a game, it’s one that I’ll probably lose. One can only win in marriage by giving everything.

Guys, our wives need our physical strength, along with any other strength we have. When there’s something to be done that requires physical exertion, don’t grumble, just do it. Carrying groceries? No problem! Cutting the lawn? No problem! Carrying the bags, when your wife goes shopping? Uh… well… no problem! Whatever it is, let your wife know that you’re there for her.