I think most of us guys tend to prefer leaving the shopping
to our wives. I mean, they seem to have that shopping gene and we don’t; so,
why bother suffering through going to the store, when we can leave that in
their quite capable hands. Not only do we avoid the suffering, but they get to
enjoy themselves. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
Of course, there are some things that we’ve got to shop for
on our own. I don’t really trust my wife to go to the hardware store, without
some really explicit instructions. Maybe your wife understands that stuff, but
my wife sure doesn’t. So, I don’t usually send her to the hardware store, or the
office supply store for that matter. There are some things which I have to shop
for myself, much as I don’t want to.
I’ve actually found another category where it makes sense
for me to do the shopping; that is to shop for things she has a tendency to run
out of. Little things, like safety pins and band-aids. My wife notices she’s out
of them when she needs one. I notice when I see the box almost empty.
Let’ me give you an example. When I feed the dog in the
morning, I automatically look to see how much dog food there is, and think “Okay,
there’s enough to last another 10 days or so.” My wife doesn’t do that; she
looks at it and sees, “Okay, there’s dog food.” That happens because generally
speaking (which means that I’m going to be generally wrong), man are more
long-term planners than women are. So, I’m doing that all day long, with everything
I use, without really thinking about it.
There’s three ways I can deal with those things when I see
them. The first one, which we guys are really good at, is to ignore it. “After
all,” I can say to myself, “she’s the one who does the shopping.” That’s all it
takes to assuage any guilt I might feel. While that’s the easy out, it’s not the
responsible answer. My second option is to put it on the shopping list. At
least that way I’m doing something to contribute to the benefit of the family.
Or, the third option is that I can buy it myself.
I know, I know, that almost sounds like heresy. Why in the world
would I buy it myself, when I know that my wife is going to the store anyway? Well,
here’s where shopping can get romantic. Granted, buying flowers and candy for
your wife is romantic, but here’s another way. When I see that my wife is about
out of something, I make a note to buy it. That way, when she runs out of it, I
have a reserve supply for her.
However, I don’t buy it and just put it in the cabinet; I
buy it and keep it. That way, when she needs it, I can produce it for her. Okay,
so I’m trying to get some kudos here, so what? The point isn’t just buying it; the
point is that she knows that I’m taking care of her. Granted, it’s something
small. But, when she needs it, it’s not that small to her.
Now, I don’t do this with everything, nor can I come
anywhere near claiming to do it all the time. What I do is make a note of it on
my tablet, so that when I’m in the store, I can check to see if there’s anything
extra I should pick up. There are many times where she buys it before I go to the
store. There are other times where I totally forget about it. But, when I can
remember to do it, I do. It’s just another little way of showing my wife that I
care about her.
First I have to strongly disagree that men are more long-term planners than women are. To me it has always seemed to be just the opposite, with women much more aware of the possible long-term consequences of their actions, and much more aware of the need to think about the future of their relationships and their families.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are aware of those little items that your wife is going to need. And very clever of you to have them on standby so that you can show her that you are on the job.