Is There Something She Runs Out Of?

I think most of us guys tend to prefer leaving the shopping to our wives. I mean, they seem to have that shopping gene and we don’t; so, why bother suffering through going to the store, when we can leave that in their quite capable hands. Not only do we avoid the suffering, but they get to enjoy themselves. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Of course, there are some things that we’ve got to shop for on our own. I don’t really trust my wife to go to the hardware store, without some really explicit instructions. Maybe your wife understands that stuff, but my wife sure doesn’t. So, I don’t usually send her to the hardware store, or the office supply store for that matter. There are some things which I have to shop for myself, much as I don’t want to.

I’ve actually found another category where it makes sense for me to do the shopping; that is to shop for things she has a tendency to run out of. Little things, like safety pins and band-aids. My wife notices she’s out of them when she needs one. I notice when I see the box almost empty.

Let’ me give you an example. When I feed the dog in the morning, I automatically look to see how much dog food there is, and think “Okay, there’s enough to last another 10 days or so.” My wife doesn’t do that; she looks at it and sees, “Okay, there’s dog food.” That happens because generally speaking (which means that I’m going to be generally wrong), man are more long-term planners than women are. So, I’m doing that all day long, with everything I use, without really thinking about it.

There’s three ways I can deal with those things when I see them. The first one, which we guys are really good at, is to ignore it. “After all,” I can say to myself, “she’s the one who does the shopping.” That’s all it takes to assuage any guilt I might feel. While that’s the easy out, it’s not the responsible answer. My second option is to put it on the shopping list. At least that way I’m doing something to contribute to the benefit of the family. Or, the third option is that I can buy it myself.

I know, I know, that almost sounds like heresy. Why in the world would I buy it myself, when I know that my wife is going to the store anyway? Well, here’s where shopping can get romantic. Granted, buying flowers and candy for your wife is romantic, but here’s another way. When I see that my wife is about out of something, I make a note to buy it. That way, when she runs out of it, I have a reserve supply for her.

However, I don’t buy it and just put it in the cabinet; I buy it and keep it. That way, when she needs it, I can produce it for her. Okay, so I’m trying to get some kudos here, so what? The point isn’t just buying it; the point is that she knows that I’m taking care of her. Granted, it’s something small. But, when she needs it, it’s not that small to her.

Now, I don’t do this with everything, nor can I come anywhere near claiming to do it all the time. What I do is make a note of it on my tablet, so that when I’m in the store, I can check to see if there’s anything extra I should pick up. There are many times where she buys it before I go to the store. There are other times where I totally forget about it. But, when I can remember to do it, I do. It’s just another little way of showing my wife that I care about her.

How is She Feeling?

Just in case you hadn’t noticed, sickness happens. Actually, not only sickness, but aches, pains, bruises and all around not feeling good in general. Those things just seem to show up when we least expect them, giving us a rap on the head and saying “Not this time, Charlie.”

It seems to me that guys have two different reactions when we get sick, depending on the sickness and probably depending on the guy as well. Our first reaction, which we are especially good at applying to pain, is to gut it out. “I’m a tough guy. I can handle it. I’m gonna keep on keepin’ on.” Our second reaction, which we tend to do for anything that makes us feel bad like the flu, is to go find a hole and crawl in it to hide. We won’t admit it, but what we really want then is for somebody to baby us.

Generally speaking, when we’re sick, the rest of the family manages to get along without us; at least for a few days they do. On the other hand, when our wives don’t feel good, everything goes topsey turvey. The whole family falls apart, cause mom isn’t there to take care of things.

Now, here’s where we tend blow it; we expect our wives to gut it out and keep on keepin’ on. We ignore how bad they might be feeling and still expect them to do everything that they usually do. Oops, foul, wrong call. We act helpless, as if we can’t put breakfast cereal in a bowl and frozen food in the microwave.  C’mon, it’s not really all that hard. We really can feed the kids, wash the dishes, take them to soccer practice and even wash the clothes.

The other way we mess up is not babying them. Now, if we expect our wives to baby us when we’re sick, isn’t it fair that we baby them as well when they need it? Okay, maybe you weren’t born with the “nurse gene” I know I wasn’t. Nursing someone who’s sick is not my forte; but loving my wife is. So, sometimes that means that I need to play nurse. It may not be natural for me, but I figure if there are male nurses out there, I can learn how to be a nurse for my wife.

Love takes many forms, and one of the biggies is to take care of one another. Well, if you expect her to take care of you, then you should be just as willing to take care of her. That means being sensitive to how she’s feeling and being willing to do what you need to, so that you can take care of her.

Watch Her Health

God has given women this wonderful ability to nurture and take care of others. It seems that all women have a nursing function built in. Maybe that’s why up until recent times, pretty much all nurses have been women. It’s almost as if a nursing career is just brining forth this natural gift.

On the other hand, us men don’t seem to take to nursing all that well. At least, I don’t. I’m always surprised to meet a male nurse, not because of anything sexist, just that I really couldn’t see myself in that role. I’d probably be one of the worst nurses in the history of the world. Oh, I cook for my wife when she’s not feeling well and go get her medicine for her, things like that, but I just don’t have that innate ability to make someone feel good when their body isn’t feeling good.

Even though women are naturally good at this nursing stuff, I’ll have to say that I’ve found one person that many women are really not good at taking care of; that’s themselves. I’m not talking about not eating right or not taking vitamins; while some are better than other about that, it’s really not the issue. What I’m talking about is things that require them to spend money on themselves. You know, going to the dentist, buying an expensive prescription, buying quality shoes so that their feet don’t hurt; things like that.

The same woman who will buy a closet full of cheap shoes won’t spend the money to buy some good shoes that properly support her feet, even if she’s on her feet all day long. She might complain about her feet hurting every night, but she still won’t buy those shoes. Likewise with the dentist, she’ll make sure that the kids go for their checkups, but when it comes to that cavity getting filled, she’ll wait till she can’t stand the pain any more.

I guess that’s all part of that mothering instinct that women have. They’re so busy taking care of everyone else, that they don’t really pay attention to taking care of themselves. Not good. A mom who doesn’t take care of herself isn’t going to be able to take care of anyone else.

That’s where we’ve got to get in the act, guys. If your wife is like mine and like many others I’ve seen, you’re going to have to push her to take care of what she needs. If you have to, take her to the doctor or dentist yourself. Or, take her to that shoe store and tell her she’s not leaving until she buy some shoes that will treat her feet right (just take a good book to read while you’re waiting). Whatever it takes.

One of the ways that women express love is by taking care of those around them. Well, guess what? When others take care of them, they interpret it the same way. So, taking care of your wife is very romantic. Why? Because you’re showing her that you value her; isn’t that what romance is all about?