Have you ever been with a group of guys, maybe on a break at
work, and one of them starts complaining about their wife? What happens? More
often than not, everyone else chimes in, starting to complain about their wives
as well. What starts out as one guy venting his frustration over some problem
he is currently experiencing, quickly turns into a wife-bashing session, where
each one is trying to top the other.
Women do this too. In fact, I’d have to say that women do it
much more than men. However, that doesn’t give us the right to do it. I’d have
to say that nobody has the right to speak bad about their spouse in public.
Remember, she is a gift from God. When you start talking bad
about her, you’re saying that God gave you junk. But God doesn’t give anyone
junk. Every gift that God gives is wonderful, even when it may not seem like it
is. Often, the beauty of a gift is temporarily marred in our sight, be a
momentary flaw. That doesn’t mean that the gift is flawed, but rather that our
image of that gift is.
You and I should only speak positively about our wives. In fact,
when those other guys are wife-bashing, we should try and make them jealous;
not in an overdone way, just a nice subtle one. While they are complaining and
saying bad things about their wives, we should counter with good things about
ours.
That may be a little tricky at times; especially when they
ask a direct question about something that you may consider an issue in your
marriage. That doesn’t mean you can’t turn it positive though. If the things
that they are asking about is something that you think is a negative, then
respond with something else; something that overshadows that negative thing in
your mind. That way, not only will your words be positive, but your tone will
be so too.
Okay, so why am I telling you to do this? There are two
reasons. Number one, we should always be thankful about what God does for us.
Since she is a gift from God, we should be thankful for that gift. Maybe at the
moment you are struggling to be thankful, but the more you work at being
thankful, the more thankful you will find yourself becoming.
The second reason is that what you say in public is going to
affect what you think in private. As long as you are talking bad about your wife,
you’re going to be thinking bad about your wife. That will end up making you
speak even worse about her. It’s a vicious cycle.
On the other hand, when you talk positive about your wife,
it will reinforce those positive thought, helping you to focus on them. That
will ultimately help you to be happier with your wife and express that happiness
towards her.
It’s really hard to be romantic when you’re feeling negative
towards her; not impossible, but difficult. Our romance can’t just be something
external; it must be something that wells up from inside our hearts. That means
that we must constantly be striving to renew the source of that romance, our
sense of love towards her. That makes our romance real; as opposed to something
that’s just canned.
Positive thoughts create positive actions, which create
positive results. Those positive results make our thoughts more positive,
starting the cycle over again. If you truly want to help your marriage and
truly want to express love towards your wife, then watch what you say about
her. Help yourself keep your mind focused on the good, so that you can continue
to act in love.
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