Don’t Forget Mother’s Day

As I was in Wal-Mart last night, doing a little grocery shopping, I saw swarms of men buying flowers and Mother’s Day balloons. It took me a moment to catch on, as I was thinking they were buying their flowers a bit early. Those flowers wouldn’t last well till the weekend, especially if those men forgot to put them in water.

While we celebrate Mother’s Day this coming Sunday, in Mexico it is celebrated today. Since the population where I live is 87% Hispanic, I should have caught on to that a bit sooner. Once I did, I was glad to see all those flowers going out the door.

Mexico makes a big deal about Mother’s Day. Largely due to the history of the Conquista, mothers play a very big part in the family. While Father’s Day isn’t all that big a deal, Mother’s Day is. In fact, Mexican men often stay very close to their mothers all through their lives; often closer than they ever get to their wives.

While I’m not in agreement with the idea of being closer to one’s mother than their wife, I appreciate how much effort the Mexican people put into celebrating Mother’s Day and the high honor they bestow upon their mothers on this day.

Yet, what about the rest of the year? How much honor to we give to our wives, as the mothers of our children, the rest of the year. How much honor do we expect our children to give them? Do we let them get away with arguing with their mother, or do we step in and put a stop to it?

There is a difference between the authority of a man and the authority of a woman. While she is always mom, she’s still a woman. She isn’t the physical threat to the kids that you and I are. C’mon now, when a woman spanks her kids, does it really hurt? Not with most women. They don’t have the upper body strength or know how to get the leverage to make that spanking mean much of anything. Oh, the kids cry all right, but that’s just to get out of it getting any worse.

Way too many kids argue with their mothers, while their father sits there quietly, letting it happen. That’s out and out rebellion, and when we allow it, we’re undermining our wife’s authority with the children. Remember, a woman’s children are an important part of her life and her world. Whatever happens with them affects every area of her life. So, when they are rebellious and we let them get away with it, we’re helping bring down her world.

God never intended for women to be men. Isn’t that great? Well, then why do we expect them to act like men, when it comes to dealing with rebellious children? Make up your mind. Do you want your wife to be feminine or masculine? If you want her to be feminine, then expect her to be feminine in everything. That means, when she needs strength, such as for dealing with the kids, you have to be her strength.

Make your children treat your wife with respect. In doing so, you’ll show her that you respect her too.

How do You Talk About Her in Public?

Have you ever been with a group of guys, maybe on a break at work, and one of them starts complaining about their wife? What happens? More often than not, everyone else chimes in, starting to complain about their wives as well. What starts out as one guy venting his frustration over some problem he is currently experiencing, quickly turns into a wife-bashing session, where each one is trying to top the other.

Women do this too. In fact, I’d have to say that women do it much more than men. However, that doesn’t give us the right to do it. I’d have to say that nobody has the right to speak bad about their spouse in public.

Remember, she is a gift from God. When you start talking bad about her, you’re saying that God gave you junk. But God doesn’t give anyone junk. Every gift that God gives is wonderful, even when it may not seem like it is. Often, the beauty of a gift is temporarily marred in our sight, be a momentary flaw. That doesn’t mean that the gift is flawed, but rather that our image of that gift is.

You and I should only speak positively about our wives. In fact, when those other guys are wife-bashing, we should try and make them jealous; not in an overdone way, just a nice subtle one. While they are complaining and saying bad things about their wives, we should counter with good things about ours.

That may be a little tricky at times; especially when they ask a direct question about something that you may consider an issue in your marriage. That doesn’t mean you can’t turn it positive though. If the things that they are asking about is something that you think is a negative, then respond with something else; something that overshadows that negative thing in your mind. That way, not only will your words be positive, but your tone will be so too.

Okay, so why am I telling you to do this? There are two reasons. Number one, we should always be thankful about what God does for us. Since she is a gift from God, we should be thankful for that gift. Maybe at the moment you are struggling to be thankful, but the more you work at being thankful, the more thankful you will find yourself becoming.

The second reason is that what you say in public is going to affect what you think in private. As long as you are talking bad about your wife, you’re going to be thinking bad about your wife. That will end up making you speak even worse about her. It’s a vicious cycle.

On the other hand, when you talk positive about your wife, it will reinforce those positive thought, helping you to focus on them. That will ultimately help you to be happier with your wife and express that happiness towards her.

It’s really hard to be romantic when you’re feeling negative towards her; not impossible, but difficult. Our romance can’t just be something external; it must be something that wells up from inside our hearts. That means that we must constantly be striving to renew the source of that romance, our sense of love towards her. That makes our romance real; as opposed to something that’s just canned.

Positive thoughts create positive actions, which create positive results. Those positive results make our thoughts more positive, starting the cycle over again. If you truly want to help your marriage and truly want to express love towards your wife, then watch what you say about her. Help yourself keep your mind focused on the good, so that you can continue to act in love.