Another First Date

Do you remember your first date with your wife? Most of us do, if only vaguely. Of course, our wives usually remember it in great detail, down to the clothes we wore and what we ate. Their memories tend to be better at things like that then ours are.

Well, there’s no reason you can’t have another first date, or at least pretend to. You know, play acting can be as much fun for adults as it is for kids; especially when we do it with our spouses. It’s a harmless outlet for fantasies, adding a little spice to your relationship.

The normal problem with fantasies is that they either involve someone besides your wife or they involve doing things that your wife wouldn’t do. The first one is clearly wrong and the second can cause one to be dissatisfied in their marriage. That’s not saying that all fantasies are bad though, we just need to be careful about how we fantasize and who we fantasize with. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about your wife, nor is there anything wrong with acting out those fantasies (assuming the two of you are in agreement and it can’t hurt either of you).

So, if you’re going to have another first date, you’ve got to do the whole shebang. Call her up and ask her out on a date. Once you’ve got her agreement, explain what you’re going to do, pretending it’s your first date once again. If you can recreate any part of that date, like the place you went to, so much the better.

What did you do on your first date? Isn’t that, more than anything, a time of getting to know each other? So, whether you pick her up or you meet someplace, do it as if you don’t know each other. Go to a restaurant and tell her about yourself, get her to tell you about herself, ask questions, learn to know each other once again.

This can be a great ice breaker if you feel that you’ve been growing apart. At times, as the years pass, we feel as if we don’t know each other anymore. Well, if that’s the case, it’s time to start learning about each other once again. Even if it isn’t the case, I’ll bet that you’ll end up telling each other things that you didn’t know. That’s part of the fun, getting to know each other more.

Where it goes from there… well, that’s up to the two of you to decide.

A Love Story

Did you know that romance novels account for 49% of the paperback books sold in the United States? That’s an amazing figure, especially considering how many other genres of books there are out there. Obviously, somebody must be reading those books. In fact, a great many somebodys are reading those books.

Somehow, the heroine in those romance novels always falls in love with the hero. She never has a headache, tells him that he needs to take a shower or complains about him working too many hours. She falls in love with the him, because he takes her breath away.

So, what makes romance novels so popular? It’s that old idea of a knight in shining armor rescuing the princess from being trapped in the ivory tower and riding off into the sunset together. Granted, they all don’t have the ivory tower and the white knight may be wearing jeans, but the idea is the same. Women are in love with the idea of being in love.

Now, being in love isn’t the same as love. Nor is being in love with the idea of being in love the same as being in love. Women are motivated by their emotions, so what they want that emotional high that they feel when they are in love. They want the excitement, the feelings and to be cherished.

Okay, let’s be real here, everyday life really isn’t like that. Washing the dishes and changing the baby’s diaper just doesn’t have that emotional impact. It doesn’t take a woman’s breath away to wash the laundry, although sometimes they wish it did, especially if we’ve been sweating a lot. Women read those romance novels because they’re looking for something that their life is lacking.

So, why not make your own romance novel or at least romance short story for your wife. You know, you don’t even have to be a writer to do that. If you can write as well as you did in the eighth grade, you can create a great story for your wife. That’s because it’s not so much about the writing ability, it’s about the imagination that goes into the story.

Start with chronicling a typical day. Now, let me tell you a secret here; most days don’t have enough activity in them, so mix days together to create an interesting day. Then, have the hero (you) show up at different times throughout the day to sweep her off her feet. Your arrivals and leavings must be mysterious, without rhyme or reason and always unexpected. Maybe she’s watching her favorite soap opera or game show and you show up in the middle of it, grab her and dance a tango. Finishing the dance with a huge kiss, you run off again without a word. Later, you show up again, as she’s vacuuming the bedroom, unplug the vacuum and take her in your arms to kiss her. At lunchtime, you kidnap her and take her to her favorite restaurant.

Use your imagination, have fun, come up with what you’d want to do with her, if you could do it. Don’t get overly carried away with the sex, although that should be there too. The idea is to be totally uninhibited in expressing passionate love in a number of ways, not just through sex. Assume that she’ll accept whatever you want to do and write it that way (let’s not get too kinky here).

Sound crazy? Yes, it is. But it’s a great way of expressing to your wife how you’d really like to show your love towards her. Most of us have trouble doing that. We’re afraid that we’ll be rejected, or afraid that she’ll think we’re foolish, or the kids get in the way, or we just don’t know how to express ourselves. That’s okay; for many people, being able to express themselves through something fictitious helps them overcome their communication barriers. Maybe it will work for you.

I guarantee you that she’ll laugh when she reads it. Don’t take that as something bad, take it as something good. She’s not laughing at you, she’s laughing because the ideas you are presenting are so far off the norm, that she doesn’t know how to react. Maybe your ideas are making her nervous. That’s okay, she’ll probably love it anyway.

So, what’s the next step? Maybe living out some of that fantasy.