The Day After Valentine’s Day

Well, how did you do? Was Valentine’s Day a success for you? Did your wife really, truly understand that you love her? If so, congratulations! If not, you need to ask yourself why not.

I took the day to do a number of things for my wife, each of them with the idea of letting her know that I loved her. I didn’t buy her a big, fancy, expensive gift; rather, I expressed my love to her in a variety of ways, mostly on paper. It took time and effort, but by the end, I had showed her my love in enough ways that she knew I meant it.

The other thing I did yesterday was to post a bunch of Murphy-isms about love on Facebook. What are Murphy-isms? They are my personal sayings and proverbs. Since my mind was on love yesterday (which made it a little hard to work) I decided to encourage others to show true love to their spouses. So, for those of you who aren’t my friends on Facebook, I thought I’d reproduce them here.

• If you've had war in your home, today is a good day to make peace. Not an armistice, which means you're both still armed camps, watching each other. Not a surrender or capitulation either, meaning that you give up and the other can have their way. No, what you need is a mutual defense treaty, which means that you are by each other's side against all opposition.
• Here's a Valentine's day challenge for you: See how many different ways you can come up with today to tell your spouse that you love them.
• True love is never about the least you can do to show them you love them; it's always about trying to do the most you can to show them you love them.
• Love is patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not prideful. It isn't rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, nor does it keep a record of wrongs. Love is never happy to see evil, but loves truth. It always, protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. - Are you lacking any of those signs of love? Then now is the time to repent.
• They say "If you love someone, let them go..." as a test of whether or not they're yours. I say, if you don't know they're yours, you don't know them.
• If you are concerned, thinking that your spouse doesn't love you enough, what are you doing wrong?
• How can one say that they "fall out of love?" If love is lost that easily, then it was never love in the first place.
• True love always carries a cost. If you're not willing to pay the cost, you don't truly love.
• They say that "love is blind." I'd rather love with my eyes open, that way, I won't be surprised. 
• Have you managed to convince your spouse that you're the most romantic person on the face of the earth? If not, there's still time. Don't let Valentine's day end, without convincing them of that!
• If you can't see your spouse as a gift from God, than you're blind.
• To say that your spouse isn't a gift from God, is to say that God made a mistake. Are you sure you want to say that?

Valentine’s Day Eve

It’s a given that your wife is expecting you to do something for her for tomorrow. Whether it’s buying her a gift, or flowers, or chocolates, or taking her out to eat, she’s pretty sure you’re going to do something. Just doing it on Valentine ’s Day makes it romantic. Unless you totally forget, in which case you really deserve to be in the dog house, just about anything you do for your wife will be romantic.

However, I can pretty much guarantee you that she’s not expecting you to do anything for her today. Even more so in that you’ll be doing something tomorrow. There’s no way that she’d expect gifts from you two days in a row. So, that gives you the opportunity to surprise her.

I don’t know why Christmas and New Year’s are the only holidays which have an “eve.” I mean, who’s ever heard of Easter Eve, or Independence Day Eve? Well, let’s create a new day; we’ll call it Valentine’s Eve. Why not? You see, that way we get to spread the joy and love of Valentine’s Day over a longer period of time. Instead of just having one day, why not have two?

Of course, if you really love your wife, every day should be a Valentine’s Day. You don’t need that excuse to do something romantic or to celebrate your love. My favorite excuse to be romantic towards my wife is just because. That’s enough.

So, don’t tell her what you’re going to do, you want the surprise to be good. But, tonight, when you come home from work have a small gift for her. It could be the classic flowers or chocolates; or you could get her some nice earrings. Whatever you get for her, you don’t want to get the same type of thing you’re going to give her tomorrow. You also, don’t want it to be bigger or more expensive than tomorrow’s gift. This is just a “teaser.”

When you give it to her, say, “Happy Valentine’s Day Eve.” She may not catch the “eve” part there, which might make it even better. You might be able to get a double surprise out of this one. She just might think that you’re going to give her anything tomorrow, just because you gave her something today. Then, when you give her a Valentine’s gift tomorrow, she’ll be surprised again.

Have fun, and don’t forget to tell her, “I love you.”

Valentines Buyer’s Guide

With Valentine’s Day just a short five days away, it’s time to plan your big romantic night with your wife. If you don’t already have a reservation to take her somewhere, you’re probably in trouble, because everyplace is going to be full. I think the only night where more people go out than Valentine’s Day is New Year’s Eve.

The other thing you want to get going on is picking up a present for your wife. Now, I know that if you’re like most guys, you’re probably thinking you can wait until at least Monday for that; but, trust me; you don’t want to do that. By Monday the selection will be really picked over and you may have trouble finding a descent gift for your wife.

While I’m sure that your wife would appreciate the classic Valentine’s gift of flowers and chocolates; I’m also sure she’d appreciate it more if you could be a little more imaginative in your gift giving. So, to help you out of the quagmire of the stores, here are a few thoughts for you:

Jewelry – This is one of the classic romantic gifts. It’s also one of the classier ones you can give your wife. Now, I know that jewelry can get pretty expensive, but that doesn’t mean that you need to break the bank to buy your wife a present, keep it within your budget, she’ll still appreciate it.

Perfume – Women like nice perfume. Their noses are more sensitive than ours are, so “negative” odors (such as sweat) bother them more. That probably has a lot to do with their liking perfume. A good quality perfume will actually last longer than the cheap ones do, and it keeps you from looking like a cheapskate. A small bottle of a quality perfume is much better than a large bottle of a cheap one.

Lingerie – Yeah, I know, you were probably waiting for this one. Sexy lingerie is always a romantic gift. But, this one comes with a warning. Don’t go overboard. If your wife isn’t comfortable with a see through baby doll, she’s not going to wear it, no matter how much you want her to. If you want to go racier than what she already wears, then go just a baby step more, not a giant step. If you buy it with just your likes in mind, it’ll seem like you’re buying yourself a gift.

Books About Marriage – There are a lot of good books out there about marriage. If you’re not sure what to get, check out Paul & Lori’s bookstore on The Marriage Bed: http://site.themarriagebed.com/resources/tmb-bookstore Just one warning; if you’re going to buy her a marriage book, better plan on reading it too. BTW, if you’re going to buy her a book, get something else too.

Something Decorative for the Bedroom – Women identify with their homes. If the home is beautiful, she feels beautiful. If the home is falling apart, she feels that way too. If you want to have a healthy relationship in the bedroom, it needs to look like something from a movie set (not Rambo). We have quite a few decorative pieces that speak of love in our bedroom. One of my favorites is a little statue of a couple hugging that my wife bought for me.

Clothes – Now, don’t panic. Buying clothes for your wife really isn’t as hard as you think it is. First of all, you need to know three things:

• What size is she?
• What colors does she like?
• What’s her style?

You can find the answer to all three of those questions by looking in her closet. Then, go find something that you think she’d look good in, that meets all three of those requirements. It’s really not all that hard. If you try and meet those three points, she’ll probably love it; especially since you bought it for her. Just be sure to keep the receipt, just in case it doesn’t fit.

Collectible Figurines – This is one of those great secrets that wise men do to ensure that they can always find a gift for their wives. Start her a collection of some sort of figurines, such as Precious Moments or Hummels. Then, every time you’re stuck without a gift idea, you can add to her collection.

Okay, now you’re armed with some ideas. Get out there before the mob and grab a nice gift for your wife, before everyone else beats you to it.