Thursday, July 26, 2012
Every couple I’ve ever met struggles with finding enough time to be together. Yet, while many fail in that struggle, there are a few I’ve known who succeed in finding ways to make time for each other. Some of those ways are rather imaginative, as they have had to work around jobs, kids and every other interruption that life throws our way.
You see, those who have time for each other aren’t a special category of people. They aren’t people who don’t have to work for a living or who never have their car break down. Their children aren’t any better behaved than anybody else’s and their bosses aren’t particularly understanding about their personal live. The one and only thing that make these people stand out from all the other couples I know is that they make a special effort to make time for one another.
Yes, making time to be together as a couple is an effort. It doesn’t happen automatically, it only happens when we make it happen. So, the real question isn’t whether or not we have time to spend together, it’s whether or not we make time to spend together.
That may require setting something aside that was taking time better spent on your marriage. It may require coming up with some new ideas. It may require using a bit of imagination. There’s always a way to make time to be together, if both parties are willing to make some adjustments in their lives.
My wife and I are on very different schedules. I’m an early riser and she’s a night owl. So, the idea of spending time together early in the morning is totally out of the question. We have trouble spending any time together in the evening as well, because she teaches classes then. So, it’s rather hard to have a weekly date night. We have to do something different.
Our date time is going out to lunch together. That’s the time that works best for both our schedules. It’s not ideal, but it’s a whole lot better than not spending any time together at all.
I remember the years that we were living in the motorhome, traveling in the ministry. That motorhome was our vehicle, house, office and school for our kids. There was no such thing as privacy during those years. Even the door to our “bedroom” was an iffy thing, not closing all the way. So, if we wanted time together, we’d have to find a way to get away from the kids.
Many a time, our time alone was walking through a Wal-Mart; not buying, just walking. Granted, that’s not the most romantic of date settings, but at least we were together, without anyone else bothering us. We’d wait until the kids went to bed, then we’d take our walk together. Those few minutes alone together were very precious to us.
Okay, here’s another idea; one that’s so easy, that we should all be able to do it. Take the time to watch the sunrise or sunset together. Fix yourselves a cup of coffee or tea, find a nice quiet place, snuggle up together and watch the birth of a new day. What’s that? You don’t like getting up early? No problem, get up to watch the sunrise, and then go back to bed. Or, the other thing you can do is to watch the sunset together, instead of the sunrise.
There’s something special about watching a sunrise or sunset together. I don’t know what it is, but just sitting there quietly; watching the changing colors as the light from the sun hits the clouds and upper atmosphere is awesome. To me, it reminds me of how great God is and how insignificant we are.
There’s a stillness at those times of day as well, especially for the sunrise. Nothing to disturb you and nothing to distract you; just the two of you alone with nature. You should try it sometime.