However, I'm not writing this blog for those types of men, and I really don't think that any of them would even bother reading a blog about romance. I figure there are two categories of men who will take the time to read a blog about romance:
- The first category are men who are somewhat romantic, or maybe really romantic, and looking for fresh ideas for things they can do to be a blessing to their wives. These are men who truly know their wives; their likes and dislikes, their favorite color, and even what kinds of flowers they like. These men will take what I am writing and probably go beyond, adding to what I am writing. They won't be seeking to twist these ideas into selfish acts, but will truly care about their wives.
- The second category are men who truly don't have a clue about being romantic, but have finally realized that they are destroying their own marriage. Because of this realization, they are looking for help. While this category of men won't do as well as the previous category; they, and their wives, will probably benefit even more from these ideas. While this category of men may not have as high-minded motives when they buy something sexy for their wife to wear, that sexy thing they bought will probably be the nicest, most feminine thing they have ever bought her. I'm sure it will be better than the football tickets they bought last year.
Romance is all about expressing love; showing the other person that you think they are important; doing something to make them feel special. What one does really isn't as important as why they do it. Anything done from a purely selfish motive can't be romantic. However, even a bumbling act of expression of love, when done with a heart of true, unselfish love, will speak volumes and be well accepted.
So, when I write a post that talks about buying sexy panties for your wife; remember, it's not about you, it's about her. When I talk about giving her a back rub, it isn't so she'll give you one. When I talk about complimenting her for something she's done, it isn't supposed to be a means of fishing for compliments. Do it to show her that you love her; let her take care of the part about showing you that she loves you.
One final thing, although sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage, don't do these things in order to convince her to have sex with you; do it to love her. Her desire for sexual intimacy will come out of having a strong, loving marriage relationship; not out of buying her a present.