Friday, October 5, 2012
When the Cat's Away...
Okay, anyone who read my blog post this morning might have gotten the idea that my wife is out of town. Well, let me start by confirming that. She left at 0-dark-thirty this morning to go to her mother’s funeral. Fortunately, her mother accepted the Lord two weeks before passing away, so we’re rejoicing that she’s probably happier now than she has ever been in her life.
Anyway, that’s why I’m talking about how to be romantic while your wife is traveling, because that’s what I’m trying to do right now.
So, I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “When the cat’s away, the mice will play.” Before entering the ministry, I had to do a fair amount of business traveling. Unfortunately, some of the times I was traveling, I had to travel with co-workers who seemed to forget that they were married, as soon as they got on the airplane. Other times, their wives had to travel, and they talked like they were free and single once again.
Okay, obviously as Christians we don’t want to act like that. But, I want to go a little farther. Because, you see, it’s not just what we do, but what our wives think we do that matters. You might think that her thoughts are her problem, but I’d have to disagree. Often, her thoughts become our problems.
Of course, many of those thoughts are put there by “friends,” family members, neighbors and co-workers that our wives have to put up with. It’s like everyone wants to convince them that their husband couldn’t be faithful, because there’s no such thing as a faithful man. While I know that many women have reason to think this way, I also know that we, as believers, have to make sure that we aren’t this way.
Once again, we need to go one step further. It’s not enough that we don’t do anything wrong; I firmly believe that we need to be so committed to our wives that they would laugh at the idea that we could be unfaithful. I’m not talking about a blind faith that they might have in us; I’m talking about a faith in us that’s based upon reality.
We have to realize that not only are those “friends” trying to convince our wives that we’re unfaithful, the enemy is actively trying to convince them of it as well. While she needs to “cast down every vain imagination” we need to make it easy for her to do that.
Okay, so how do we do that? I think there are a couple of very important things which we need to demonstrate to our wives. The first one is that she needs to see that we don’t look at other women. Take my word for it; your wife knows if you are looking at other women. She can recognize the hot chicks out there just as well as you can. But she doesn’t stare at them, she looks to see if you are.
The next thing we need to do is keep in communication with her while we are apart. When I was traveling for business, I made it a point to call my wife every day, no matter where I was. Now, most of my travels are out of the country, so it’s much harder to keep in touch with her. Nevertheless, I keep in contact with my wife, whether I’m texting her from Mexico or sending her e-mails from Colombia.
Finally, we need to make sure that our wife knows that she is loved. A woman who feels loved by her husband is much less likely to accept the idea that he’s fooling around. Of course, a man who is acting in love towards his wife is much less likely to fool around as well, so it works well from both sides. When she knows that she is loved, it’s much easier for her to cast down those vain imaginations, because she knows the truth; and she knows that the truth is in her favor.
So, what to do when the cat’s away? Play a game of finding ways to express your love to your wife, just as if you were both at home.