Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Her Personal French Chef

You know, I’ve always thought it was strange that men don’t cook more. I mean, if you go to a restaurant, the cook’s probably a man. Most of the chefs in the world are men. But, and again I say but, when it comes to the home, men act like there’s no way that they could possibly cook. Something just doesn’t seem kosher about that.

Okay, maybe you’re not the world’s greatest cook. Maybe you’re not ready for your own cooking show. But, don’t tell me you can’t cook at all. I find that a bit hard to believe. If that were the case, then when your wife wasn’t there to cook for you, you’d starve.

They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Personally, I don’t believe that one; I think it’s another organ, a little lower down. I’m pretty sure that it was a mother who came up with that saying, so she wouldn’t have to tell her daughter the truth. Other mothers grabbed a hold of the idea and it became common folklore.

Since women tend to expect men to react as women would (men do the same thing towards women) we might be able to grab some useful wisdom out of that saying. The reason I say that is because there’s a possibility that it might apply to women, rather than men.

Think about it. If I’m right and that saying was invented by a mother, than she was trying to project onto men what she thought they should be. Okay, where did she get that idea? She would have had to have gotten it from her own idea of what was romantic. In other words, she was projecting onto men what she thought would be romantic; her man cooking for her.

Okay, there’s a lot of supposition there, and I can’t prove any of it, so don’t go around quoting me. However, I do know from personal experience that women find it romantic when their men cook for them; especially when they cook something different, even exotic, that the women don’t cook themselves.

I used to joke that my wife married me for my cooking. We were both gourmets back then, and I was able to impress her with my prowess in the kitchen. Okay, you may not be at that level, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t impress her anyway. Make something exotic for her like crepes. They’re really not that hard, but since they’re French, they’ve got to be romantic.

If you don’t know what crepes are, they’re something like large, thin pancakes. The batter is fairly easy to whip up (look up the recipe in a cookbook or online). The major differences between that and pancake batter is that its’ runnier and it’s got more eggs. The eggs are what help keep them from falling apart when you cook them. You cook them in a frying pan, with just a touch of oil. Use a pan with sloping sides, instead of one with straight vertical sides. One crepe should fill the bottom of the pan. If you wait long enough to flip it, you can do so without it breaking.

You can fill a crepe with just about anything. What works really well is to take cream cheese, add a little milk and some powdered sugar. Then beat it with the mixer until it’s smooth. You want it to be the consistency of pudding, before it sets in the fridge. Taste it. If it’s not sweet, add more sugar. Then, once it’s sweet enough, add about a teaspoon of orange extract.

Okay, to assemble your crepes, lay one crepe on a plate and spoon a 1-1/2 inch line of cream cheese filling down the center of it. Fold the sides of the crepe over it, like a burrito. Then sprinkle some powdered sugar on top and a squiggly line of chocolate syrup. If you have a strawberry or some blueberries to put on top in the middle add those for a finishing touch.

She’s sure to be impressed by your culinary masterpiece. Who knows, your famous crepes could become a personal aphrodisiac. If not, at least they can become a way of sowing your wife that you love her.

Oh, one last detail. Be sure to clean up your mess. You can kill the romance by leaving it for her to clean up. Then, instead of gaining points, you lose them. 

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