Thursday, March 22, 2012
Let Her Know That You Appreciate Her
Don’t you love it when someone tells you “Thanks” for something you’ve done? Even if it’s mundane, we still appreciate being appreciated. That simple one-word act tells us that what we are doing is noticed, that we are making a difference and that the person we did it for appreciates that we’ve done it.
On the other hand, when people forget to give us thanks for what we do, we feel used, unimportant, un appreciated and mistreated. I remember once when my wife sent me to pick up some furniture that she bought on Craig’s list. I had to drive over 700 miles that day, to go pick the furniture up in three different places. Finally, I arrived home at 2:00 am and couldn’t even collapse in bed; I still had to unload it.
The next morning (actually it was the same morning I got home) I woke my wife up at 6:00 so that she could get ready for work. She went “ooh” and “ah” over the furniture, obviously thrilled with the furniture and the great deal we had gotten on it. She only forgot one thing. In her rush to get out of the house, she forgot to tell me thanks. Oops!
You know, that bothered me for two whole weeks, till I finally told my wife what had happened. She hadn’t intended to malign me; she had just been in a hurry. Yet, her hurry had caused her to overlook one very important detail, that of saying “Thank you.”
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying my wife was wrong in her actions. I’m only using that to illustrate a point; the importance of showing appreciation. The real question is, how many times do our wives do things for us, and we are the ones to forget to say “Thanks?” Even if it’s only once, that’s still once too many.
Our wives do things for us and for our kids all day long; often without receiving any words of thanks. We tend to take the things they do for granted, as if they are expected. Whether or not they are expected shouldn’t change our appreciation; nor should they change our expression of that appreciation.
If the only time when we say “Thank you” is when she does something outstanding, then we’re establishing an unwritten rule that we expect her to do outstanding things all the time. We are sending the message that we aren’t satisfied with the normal things; so we don’t appreciate them. In essence, we’re telling our wives, “You’re not good enough.”
You know, our wives receive that message more than enough from the world. Every magazine ad, television spot, TV program and movie tells her that she’s not good enough. If there is anyone who should be telling her the opposite, it’s you and me. We need to be building our wives up, not being part of the multitude that’s trying to tear her down. All it takes is a few simple words of appreciation.
If you’ve been lacking in showing appreciation, go to your wife and apologize to her. Tell her that you do see the things that she does every day and you appreciate them. Tell her you don’t know what you’d do without her. Let her know that she’s important.
Then, create a new habit, where you are regularly thanking her for the normal things which she does. Let her know regularly that she is appreciated. Teach your kids to do the same, so that they learn to thank her for taking them to ball practice and cooking dinner and washing their clothes. Those may not be exciting things, but they are important. Her doing them is important as well.