Thursday, March 8, 2012
Touch her Tender
Most guys are touchy. We just like to touch. We like the feel of our wife’s skin, so we touch her whenever we can. Of course, if the only way we ever touch her is sexual, then she tends to think that sex is all we want.
Granted, pretty much all guys like sex. While I’m sure there’s one in a million out there who doesn’t, the rest of us do. But, you know; touch doesn’t have to be about sex; it doesn’t even have to be sexual. It can just be loving, without having to be sexual at all. I don’t know about you, but I like to touch my wife just to touch her, it doesn’t have to be sexual.
According to Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages” touch is one of the ways in which we both express and understand love. I guess that’s why we like to touch so much; it’s an expression of love. Only, when we always make it sexual or don’t do it “right” it doesn’t convey the message that we want it to.
Women’s skin is much more sensitive than men’s skin is. So, a light touch is very important. That same light touch that would make us go crazy because it tickles can make her go crazy because it feels good. Yep, that’s right, if you want her to enjoy it, it has to be light enough that it would bug you to no end.
Remember when you were dating? It was a big deal to sit in a movie and get to put your arm around a girl. Typically, your arm wouldn’t be just hanging there, but your index finger would be making little circles on her shoulder or upper arm. Now, remember how you touched her? It was a light touch, wasn’t it? Why? Because somehow you just knew that was what was called for.
Well, guess what? You were right. Although I’ll have to say that making the same little circle over and over again can make her arm feel a little bit raw after a while; better to move it around a bit more.
Women like that light touch. In fact, they like a feather touch. So, if you can’t touch her light enough on your own, get a feather. In fact, why not get a feather duster; not the one she uses for the house, but one that you can use just for her. She isn’t going to be impressed if you use a dirty feather duster on her back.
Okay, so if you’re not going to touch her sexually, where should you touch her? Good question. Believe it or not, there’s lots of places you can touch your wife, which aren’t really sexual; we just have trouble focusing on them. Why not touch her on her legs? Or touch her back? My wife really likes it when I touch her on the back of the neck. It really doesn’t matter where, as much as it matters how.
Touching her this way can express love to her in a way that she’ll understand much better than touching her sexually; and who knows, it might lead to something more. But leave that up to her.