Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Take the Time to Cuddle

For some strange reason, lots of women complain that all their husbands’ want is sex. As a man, I really have trouble understanding that, even though I’m supposed to be somewhat of an “expert” on women. Nevertheless, I have to agree with women that sex in and of itself, without the emotional connection that makes sex into something special, is like having someone give you a brand new Mustang, without the engine. While sex without the emotional closeness of a truly loving relationship is still sex, it’s nowhere near as special as sex with the emotional closeness.

That’s one of the reasons that romance is so important in a marriage. Besides meeting our wives emotional needs, the romantic acts that we do tend to draw us closer as a couple. That’s really what it’s all about. When sex comes as a result of that emotional closeness, it reaches a whole new level.

Another related thing that women complain about is lack of cuddling. Cuddling (either dressed or naked) is a very important part of the physical expression of love in a marriage. Yet, most men don’t appreciate just cuddling with their wives, unless that cuddling leads to sex. While I’m not against cuddling leading to sex, I’ve learned that the cuddling in and of itself can be extremely satisfying on an emotional level.

Cuddling is part of building the emotional closeness necessary for a good, healthy sexual relationship within the marriage. Men typically fall asleep after lovemaking, leaving the cuddling part out. Granted, we’re going to fall asleep no matter what, but there’s no reason to not fall asleep with your arms around your wife. There’s also no reason not to put your arms around her when you wake up in the middle of the night.

Okay, that takes care of the bedroom, but what about the rest of the time? By all means, take every opportunity you can to cuddle with your wife, whether in the bedroom or out. When you’re sitting there watching television, do it with your arms around her. Put your arm around her when you’re talking to friends. You can even put your arm around her in church, while you’re listening to the sermon. In other words, take every opportunity you can to put your arm around your wife.

Have you ever noticed how much babies want to be held and cuddled? There’s something in human makeup that craves physical contact. We all want it, although as adults we may not be hearing that need, due to other voices that are crying louder.

I remember a story about a pair of twin babies. One of the two of them was extremely sick, to the point where they thought that the baby would die. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the baby, so didn’t know how to properly treat it. A nurse put the healthy twin in the bassinet with the sick one, to keep it company. That physical closeness was enough to heal the sick baby.

You find young people who are dating always putting their arms around each other. It’s almost like they can’t walk alone or even stand alone without falling down. Why? Because they crave that physical contact. It meets an emotional need within them.

That emotional need to cuddle doesn’t ever go away. You and I have it, so do our wives. There will never be anything else that will fully satisfy that need. I don’t care how much sex you try and have, without cuddling, you’ll find that the emotional need is still there. I’d say that your wife is probably crying out for more cuddling, even if she never verbalizes it or is cognizant of her own desire. It’s there, and it’s your job to fill that need.

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