Friday, June 22, 2012

Vacations are Important Too

As guys, it’s really easy for us to get a bit of tunnel vision, focusing on our work and forgetting about everything else. Granted, if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably trying to focus on something other than your work, like your marriage. But still, even with that, it’s real easy for us to get dragged back into putting all our time and energy into our work, forgetting to spend time with those who are close to us.

We all need to take time to get away from our work every once in a while and focus on other things. Yeah, I know, you don’t make any money when you’re not working, right? I face the same problem. Nobody gives me two weeks of paid vacation so that I can sit around the swimming pool or pet the bears either. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that I should work 52 weeks per year. I need time off too.

I won’t even pretend that vacations are relaxing, because they aren’t. If anything, there more stressful than work is; especially if you think about the money you’re going to be spending. But that’s not the point. The point is to get away. More specifically, the point is to get away with those who you love, so that you can spend some time focused on them, rather than being focused on your job.

You see, more than anything, vacations are a great bonding time. They’re a time when we can get together as a family and just be a family. Yes, they’re a time when we can spend time doing fun things, but more importantly, they’re a time when we can do things together.

That’s what it’s really all about; doing things together. Every relationship needs those times together, in order to be nurtured and stay healthy. Without those times, it’s all too easy for a relationship to fall into disrepair, becoming non-functional and headed for disaster.

Of course, the other excuse that people use for not going on vacation is the cost. Granted, going somewhere on vacation is expensive. I know, I just bought the tickets. But that doesn’t mean that all vacations have to be expensive. It’s possible to go on vacation, without spending a fortune. While expensive vacations can be nice, they aren’t necessary. Quality vacation time is about spending time together, not spending money together.

Whenever you invest time in your marriage and family it pays dividends. Maybe they aren’t dividends that you can see right away, but they’re there nevertheless. Those dividends come into play at times we don’t expect and in ways that we don’t expect. They help the family through the hard times, when we need something to help us stick together and not turn on each other.

You see, without investing time in family relationships, we don’t have that reserve of “sticky glue” to keep us from falling apart in a crisis. The same thing applies to our marriages. Yet, when we do invest time in our family life, going on vacation or other family activities, we’re better able to face everything the world can throw at us.

One last point. You may be wondering why I’m even mentioning this on a blog that’s about romance. Believe it or not, spending time together as a family is romantic. I know, it may not seem like it is, but it is. Your children are very important to your wife. She needs to know that you are as committed to them as you are to her. Otherwise, her loyalties are going to be divided between you and them. If you want to work together as a team, you have to build the team. That means taking time to do so. When you show your wife that you’re concerned enough about the family to spend time together, you eliminate one worry for her, making it easier for her to pay attention to you.

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