Thursday, February 23, 2012

Touch her Tenderly


According to Gary Chapman’s great book, The Five Love Languages, one of the ways we express and understand love is through physical touch. I think we could all say that Gary hit the nail right on the head with that one. While we, as guys, see sex as an expression of love, he goes much farther, saying that physical touch in general, not just that which happens in lovemaking is an expression of love.

Touching is such an important part of expressing our love that God gave it biological significance. What I mean by that is that God created the body to react to touch in a way that increases the felling of love.

The chemical oxytocin is released into our bodies through physical touch. While this hormone hasn’t been studied as thoroughly as the better known hormones, in the last 10 years, scientists have been looking much closer at it. Like all hormones, this one has an emotional effect as well, that of making one feel in love. So, physical touch actually increases the feeling of being in love with one another.

Granted, it takes the right kind of physical contact to produce this feeling. Hitting someone isn’t going to make them love you, no matter how much you do it; nor any other type of rough treatment either. It takes a soft, loving touch to cause oxyticin to be released.

Actually, a woman’s skin is much more sensitive than a man’s is. Therefore, the soft touch is extremely important. Many women complain that their husbands touch them much too roughly, especially touching their genitals much too roughly. While that soft touch may be annoying to you, it’s a delight to her. A perfect touch to a woman is as light as a feather.

Remember when you were a teen out on a date, and you finally got up enough nerve to put your arm around the girl? What did you do then? You probably started running your finger around in little circles on her arm, right? Well, guess what, that was the right thing to do. All you needed to do different is broaden the area, so that you didn’t rub her skin raw in that one spot (women’s skin rubs raw easier than ours does).

Touching her intimately isn’t just limited to her erogenous zones either. A woman’s whole body is sensitive to touch. My wife likes it when I touch the back of her neck lightly, or when I rub my fingers lightly across her scalp, through her hair. It almost doesn’t matter where I touch her, what matters is how I touch her.

We as men are designed to be strong and touch. Our wives appreciate that part of us, especially when it comes to protecting them. However, there’s no place for that in expressing love to her. In that case, the light touch conveys a lot of tenderness, caring and love. Someone once said, “Strength is made great in tenderness.” Well, show your strength to your wife by touching her tenderly.

The other nice thing about this is it’s a way that you can show love to your wife anywhere and anytime. While she might not feel comfortable with you kissing her in public, she probably won’t have a problem with you rubbing the balls of your fingers lightly over the back of her neck in public. So, take advantage of that and show your wife love wherever you are.

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