Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Important Times for Kisses

I know this is going to sound a little crazy, but kissing, not sex is one of the most intimate acts a couple can undertake. I know, I know, like I told you, it sounds a little crazy. Let me back up that statement with something. Prostitutes, who are accustomed to allowing men to do whatever they want with their bodies, typically won’t kiss those same men. Why? Because kissing is too intimate for them to handle. They can more or less ignore a man who’s using their body, but not one who’s kissing them.

Did you know that the lips are the most sensitive part of the human body? That’s why babies put everything in their mouths. So, kissing stimulates the nerves, and the emotions, even more than sex does. Kissing builds intimacy, while sex utilizes that intimacy.

Another great thing about kissing is that it can be done in public. Nobody’s going to think badly of you if you kiss your wife in public; in fact, they’ll probably think very highly of you for doing so. On the other hand… well, we’ll just avoid going there. Let’s just say that most people don’t want to watch you making out with your wife in their living room.

Okay, so we’ve established that kissing is important, so what? Well, the reason I’m bringing this up is that most couples don’t kiss enough. I’m not talking about kissing when they’re making love, although that is definitely important, I’m talking about kissing throughout the day. It’s those kisses, or maybe I should say, the ongoing habit of kissing, that is one of the important ingredients for building intimacy in your marriage relationship.

While any moment is a great one to kiss, there are a few times in a day, which are very important moments to make sure you form the habit of kissing:

  • When you first wake up in the morning. Okay, I know all about morning breath; go brush your teeth, then kiss her.
  • When you leave the house. That doesn’t just mean when you leave to go to work, it means every time you walk out the door.
  • When you come home. A hug and a kiss when you come home from work are extremely important; not only for your marriage, but to help you switch from “work mode” to “home mode.” Just like the kisses before you leave, don’t just limit yourself to kissing her when you come back from work, I don’t care if you just went to take out the trash, kiss her when you come back in.
  • Before you go to sleep at night. Even if you aren’t going to make love, at least one good kiss before going to sleep helps set the tone for the next day.
  • Any time you say “thank you.” We’ll just call that one the cherry on the ice cream sundae. Saying “thank you” is important, but saying it with a kiss amplifies it.

Okay, we’ve established when to kiss, now let me say a few words about how to kiss. While I have great confidence in both you and your wife’s ability to pucker up and plant one, I’m not so sure that you do what you need, when you need.

As far as I’m concerned, a peck never qualifies as a kiss. For one thing, it’s too brief to really feel the other person’s lips. For another, you can do it without thinking about the person. We’re talking about intimacy here. You can’t be intimate without thinking about the person you’re being intimate with. To be intimate, a kiss has to linger a bit; at least one second.

So, all of your kisses need to be at least one second in duration. On top of that, I’d have to say that the most important time to kiss is when you come home. So, that kiss should last at least five seconds. No, you don’t need to get your stopwatch out and time yourself. Just make sure you take your time.

By the way, there’s one important time to kiss that I forgot to mention, that’s whenever you think of it. Hey, there’s no such thing as too many kisses.

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