Tuesday, April 5, 2011
There’s this strange phenomenon that seems to happen with married couples. Before the wedding, they can’t think of a single bad characteristic in their future spouse. They are absolutely convinced that the other person is the most perfect example of their gender on the face of the planet. You couldn’t convince them that there is something wrong with that other person.
If only that attitude would stay with us. Unfortunately, after the honeymoon is over, we start seeing all the errors in that other person. It’s very easy to become so focused on their negative traits, that we wonder how we ever could have loved them in the first place.
Your thoughts will affect your love for and attitude towards your wife. There’s no way you can manage to be romantic while you are thinking negatively about her. Oh, you might manage to do a romantic act or two, but you won’t be able to maintain it. Nor will you be able to do those romantic acts with the right attitude; and a romantic act done with a bad attitude just doesn’t come across the way it should.
I want to share a little habit with you that will help you maintain a positive attitude towards your wife, even while everything else in the world is trying to give you a negative one.
Get yourself a piece of paper, small notebook, or file on your computer. Make sure it’s convenient to use, because you’re going to use it ever day. Every day, write down one positive thing about your wife. It can be a character trait, something endearing about her personality, the way she does something, or something she’s done for you. Whatever it is, write it down and date it.
Now, think about that one thing several times throughout the day. Remind yourself of it, why it is special, maybe some memory of how or when that thing showed forth, and why you are glad that your wife is that way.
In the evening, compliment your wife for that thing which you’ve been thinking about all day. Let her know that you appreciate that characteristic, ability or action that you see in her. You will both be building your love for her and building her up at the same time.
Maybe you could add the anticipation factor in here a little too. If you make a habit of this, your wife will soon realize that you are making a habit of complimenting her. She will begin to look forward to hearing what you are going to say. So, put some variety into the when and where of giving her that compliment. One day it could be at dinner; the next day as soon as you walk in the door from work; the next day it could be right before going to bed. It won’t be long before she starts wondering and anticipating that day’s compliment; which of course, will make it all the more special for her.