Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Be Sensitive to Her Stress Level

In case you haven’t noticed, men and women tend to handle stress differently. For us guys, a little stress is necessary to keep us moving; without it, we tend to become couch potatoes. On the other hand, our wives are much more greatly affected by stress, and affected in a very negative way.

While stress can cause health problems for both men and women, it seems to cause more for women. That could be simply because they are not very good at getting rid of stress on their own or it could just be part of the physiological difference between men and women. Regardless of the reason, we need to be sensitive to her stress level and do whatever we can to help reduce it.

One of the ways that women dissipate their stress is to talk about whatever it is that’s causing them problem. That’s why they tend to greet us at the door with a litany of all the problems they’ve had throughout the day. While it may sound to us like complaining, or like she’s trying to dump all her problems on us, so that we have to deal with it; in reality it’s nothing more than getting it off her heart. Allowing her to do that, even if we don’t come up with a solution or deal with the problem helps her.

The trick in dealing with that complaint list is to be like a duck; just like water runs off of a duck’s back, let all those words of complaint run right off of your back. You don’t have to accept them; you don’t have to come up with solutions and you don’t have to spend your evening fixing everything that’s broke.

So, what else can you do to help your wife deal with all that stress? How about finding something that takes her mind off of it? You’ve got to realize that those problems she’s talking about are real, or at least are real to her. That, in and of itself, makes it important. So, what does she like, which will take her mind off of those problems and maybe even put her mind on something positive? Here’s a few ideas:
  • Go for a walk together to enjoy the sunset.
  • Cook a crazy dinner together (whatever seems crazy enough to get a laugh out of the two of you)
  • Go out for ice cream (always a good idea)
  • Go to your favorite coffee shop (watch it though, coffee can increase stress)
  • Watch a movie together

It really doesn’t matter so much what you do, only that it be something that the two of you can enjoy together, to get both of your minds off of the problems of the day. That will help get rid of the stress for both of you. 

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