Sunday, January 16, 2011
Free Her from the Worries
Once upon a time you were dating your wife. In those days, everything was sweetness and light. There weren’t any problems to worry about; there weren’t any bills; the two of you were just having a good time together. Then, you got married, and something changed. All of a sudden, the bills had to get paid, things had to be repaired, and problem after problem started showing up.
In the beginning, you probably tired to protect your wife from those problems. When something broke down, you fixed it (or had it fixed) as quick as you could. When the bills showed up, you didn’t let her see them. When there was a problem, you tried to take care of it.
Somewhere along the line, that system went kaput. Now, your wife knows about the bills, the problems, and all the broken stuff. She has ample opportunity to worry about all of it; and you know, women seem to be much better at worrying about that stuff than us guys are. When we have a problem we can’t do anything about, we put it on our mental shelf, until we can deal with it. On the other hand, women have that thing before their eyes 24/7 and can’t seem to get rid of it.
Day 83 – I’m probably going to catch a lot of flak for this, but here goes. Why not go back to those early days, when you were protecting your wife from all those worries. I’m not saying that you should sneak around behind her back. Nor am I saying that you should forget that your marriage is a partnership. What I’m saying is that you deal with those problems, instead of her having to do so.
Stress can cause a lot of health problems, and it seems to cause even more for women than for men. Maybe that’s because the average woman is much more adept at worrying than the average man, I don’t know. I do know this though; a woman with stress isn’t in very good shape. But, us guys, it’s almost like we need a little stress to get us off the sofa or away from the computer games to do something.
When the bill collectors call, you deal with them. When there’s a problem with the insurance company, don’t make her have to fight with them. When the car breaks down, you take it to the mechanic (or fix it yourself). When your kid has a problem at school, you go see the principal. Don’t dump all these things on her, be her protector, and protect her from all that worry.
One last detail; it’d probably be a good idea to talk to her about doing all this before your start. If she’s had to deal with it, and you’re going to start, she might feel as if you didn’t trust her, or were treating her like a child. Make sure she knows that you are trying to shoulder your responsibility and protect her from these things, and the worry that goes with them. It’s always better to communicate things like this first, instead of having a fight about them later.