Saturday, January 1, 2011
Resolve to Have a More Romantic Year
You know, most of what a couple fights over isn’t the big things, although there is plenty of that going on. No, most of it is over little things that are a constant irritation; as it says in Song of Solomon, “the little foxes that spoil the vine.” Those little irritations, if not taken care of, can grow and fester and become bigger than reality.
All of us have habits that are irritating to our spouses. I’d be willing to bet that just reading that last sentence caused at least one of your wife’s irritating habits to pop into your mind. But, wait, this isn’t about what she does to irritate you, it’s what you do to irritate her.
What is it that you do, which causes irritation for your wife? Don’t try and tell me “nothing,” I’d have a hard time believing that. Especially since it seems that women are always working to “improve” their man; no matter how he is, they are sure they can remake him better. Maybe that’s why God didn’t put windows in women’s wombs, so they wouldn’t be trying to improve on the work in process.
Day 71 - Everyone seems to make New Year’s resolutions, and just about everyone breaks them within the first week of the new year. Well, why don’t we do things a little differently this year? Instead of making a resolution for something we want, why don’t we make a resolution to stop doing something that is irritating to our wife?
What is it that you do, more or less regularly, that irritates your wife? Is it leaving your dirty clothes all over the bedroom floor? Is it putting your tools on the dining room table? Or, is it that you don’t put the caps back on things in the refrigerator?
If you aren’t sure, why don’t you ask the expert? Only, if you are going to ask her, make sure you tell her to limit it to one thing; otherwise you might get a laundry list.
Okay, now that you’ve gotten that one irritating habit identified, make your new year’s resolution this year to be that you will change that habit. Be sure and tell your wife what you are doing, because that commits you. Not only that, but she may not appreciate it if she doesn’t know about it. Then, put your plan into action to make that change.
I say “put your plan into action” because you do need a plan. It’s not enough to say, “I won’t do thus-and-so” you need to know what it is that you are going to do instead of that. In other words, to say, “I won’t throw my dirty clothes all over the bedroom floor” isn’t enough; you need to decide what you are going to do with them, instead of throwing them on the floor. Otherwise, you’ll end up doing the same old thing.
Now, put yourself a reminder for this change in a conspicuous spot. Maybe it would be on the bathroom mirror; or the door in from the garage, or in your office (if you have one). Psychologists say that it takes 40 days to change a habit; so you need to read that reminder, and make an effort to change that habit for those 40 days. After that, you will have a new habit, one that doesn’t irritate your wife.