Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

Remember the old saying, “you only hurt the ones you love”? Unfortunately, it’s quite true; but the question is, “Why is it so true?” Why should it be that we take things our on those who are closest to us, hurting them for things that really have nothing to do with them?

All too often, we get home from a hard day at work, possibly an argument with the boss, or an altercation with another co-worker. Or, a crisis arises in our family, possibly one of the children getting hurt, doing something foolish. Maybe, we’re dealing with financial struggles caused by the loss of a job. All of these things are part of life; no matter who we are, or what our status and position, we’ll still have problems. But, how we deal with them shows our growth and maturity.

The most common reaction in these situations is to strike out at somebody; that’s how we end up hurting those who are close to us. Instead of striking out at those who have hurt us, or caused us the problem, we strike out at our families.

I have learned through long and hard experience, that there are times that it is best that I not say anything at all. Even trying to say simple things like “pass the salt,” or, “hello” can come out bad when one is confronted with a crisis, or even worse when one is mad. My wife has learned that when I refuse to talk, it is with good reason, and allows me to keep my peace.

Don’t take me wrong on this, I’m not giving you license to give your wife the cold shoulder, or to ignore her in any way. What I’m saying is that I have learned to keep quiet, until and only until I am sure that I can talk without being destructive; talking positive instead of negative.

Day 26 – So, I’m sure you can guess what today’s romantic act is. Yes, I know, this is another one of those cases where it really doesn’t seem romantic; and I’d have to say it really isn’t. But, on the other hand, letting loose all those negative feelings at your wife is definitely the opposite of romantic.

Learn how to get yourself, especially your negative emotions, under control, before you get home to your wife. If that means you take a couple of extra laps around the neighborhood, before pulling into the driveway, do just that.

A little secret that might help you out. The quicker you can forgive those who have spitefully used you, the quicker you can get over it. I’m not saying that you have to forgive them to their face, nor am I saying that you have to say they were right. You’re not forgiving them for their sake, but for your own. There, in the privacy of your car, just say the words, I forgive them.” You’d be amazed how freeing those three words can be.

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